Mom Guilt. These words put together create distress and anxiety in every mom that I know. This is an unfair quality that has pushed its way into mama hearts everywhere. We are guilty of going to the store alone, for being sick, buying something for ourselves and not our children, or eating a piece of candy from the parade that we took them to. Oh, and my personal favorite, guilty for having emotions and expressing them poorly. Moms need to remember that we are human too and stop labeling ourselves as selfish, because we are anything but.
Yesterday
Yesterday, I went looking for garage sales and craft shopping with my mom. We had such a fun time laughing, joking, drinking her coffee (I did not bring my own), and looking at nice things that we did not need. Every time we walked past a booth, one of my daughters would give me the pleading eyes and attack me with a “Oh my gosh mom, look at this.” They would never fully come out and say, “I want this.” Because they know that is a pet peeve of mine, and they know that they will get nothing if those words even cross the lip threshold. But toward the end, each kid ended up getting a little something, because they are good kids and I love them. Hmm, wonder what my love language is. HA!
Focus on the Positive
Being a stay-at-home mom can cause over sensitivity to things like crying, screaming, whining, even music can sound like nails on a chalk board. At the end of the day when the kids are in bed, and I am completely done for the day. I feel guilty that I didn’t do enough of the house chores. I usually call my husband and let him know that the house is a “warzone” because the kids were, quite literally, at war all day. He always assures me that he doesn’t expect the house to be clean when he gets home. Have I told you that he is a good man? Because he is. He helps me focus and find the things that I did do throughout the day that kept the house functioning and tells me to leave behind the thought of “not doing enough.”
Help Yourself
Helping yourself is such a hard thing to do. I struggle with it, as well. But if you work really hard during the day with the kids and you find yourself getting overwhelmed with the day plans and the children, that means you need to take time for yourself. Find little moments of quiet and steal them. Sit the kids down to watch a movie and step outside. Set up a coloring table and lay on your bed for a few moments. Breathe and use that time to meditate or control your own surroundings. There are little moments, you just have to find them and capitalize on them.
Get Comfortable
Even though Mom Guilt was in full swing, I decided that I deserve something too. I guess guilty is how I will feel and that is just too bad. So, yes, I bought myself a Bluey coffee to-go cup and a cute stuffed otter that will sit here on my desk while I write. If this helps you purchase something you want or do something that you want to do, then I have done my job. Get comfortable with the Mom Guilt, matter of fact, invite her to the parties and the stores, because you know no one likes an uninvited guest.
We are Cupcakes, not Monsters.
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2 responses to “Mom Guilt on Full Attack”
The mom guilt is soooo real! I have been wanting to get my first tattoo honoring my kids and the last three summers I have kept saying “this is the year, going to save up my craft show money and get it finally”….but alas there’s always something one of the kids needs, bras, underwear, new shoes ect and then I can’t justify spending the money on myself, or when going to the grocery store and seeing something that REALLY looks good but then seeing something that the kids or even the husband would really like and getting that instead because, well, I would feel guilty getting something for myself but not them.
Ugh! Yes too many times this happens! Get that Tattoo girl!